


No reason

by darkrogue1 (Lily_Haydee_Lohdisse)



Category: Kyou Kara Maou!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-14
Updated: 2007-08-14
Packaged: 2018-07-29 16:50:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7692157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_Haydee_Lohdisse/pseuds/darkrogue1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuuri wants to understand something, so he asks Wolfram how and why he loves him. Conrad’s pov.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No reason

**Author's Note:**

> Quote: _The heart has its reasons that reason cannot know_. (Blaise Pascal)
> 
> Beta-read by [](http://hisoka44.livejournal.com/profile)[**hisoka44**](http://hisoka44.livejournal.com/).
> 
> AN: … it would not surprise me to become a ghost if I die right now… so much unfinished business… But that’s the problem with me: I start too many things to find time to finish them all… So rather than to go back to my work in progress, I decided to put this into shape. I wrote it telegram-style a really long time ago (about 1 year already?)… At least it will be one item less on my to-write list.
> 
> AN2: Do you also think my ideas are becoming rather monotonous?

From the way they are both acting, with Wolfram pushing somewhat more than usual and from the way Yuuri’s eyes look, Conrad knows there is just a big mix-up or mistake waiting to happen.  
  
He could have misinterpreted the situation as well, which would be a good thing actually. But Conrad is quite sure that Yuuri and Wolfram are both misunderstanding each other. So he prepares for the worst, ready to cushion their fall and hope it won’t be too harsh, for either of them, or for him.  
  
But Conrad is not there when it happens. He was not expecting an early morning clash. Both are distraught and angry, so he tries some damage control; it‘s part of his duty as well, both as Yuuri‘s confidant and as Wolfram‘s older brother.  
  
He just has to talk to Wolfram first, Yuuri will understand, but it’s actually the king he meets first, while looking for his brother.  
  
"Yuuri."  
  
"He wanted us to marry, Conrad." Yuuri explains amidst embarrassed stutters, shielding from his pain through indignation. "So I told him we hadn’t even kissed yet! And then he said: ‘then let‘s kiss‘ and…I pushed him away." Conrad just listens while Yuuri pours his heart out to him, like he was ready to do for both of them. "Because a kiss should mean love, Conrad. "  
  
At that Conrad can’t remain silent, he just has to say it: " Wolfram loves you," he states softly.  
  
"Yes but how?" Yuuri reflects sadly. "I mean, I’m not sure I love him. I don’t think I like him that way, so I don’t want to marry him, but maybe I do so I don’t want to push him away either. I just want to… I’d like to be sure the person I will marry is the right person." He pauses then, and all his uncertainty is summed up in his next question: "Why does he love me?"  
  
Conrad can’t find anything to answer to that, and after he has seen to it that Yuuri has calmed down, he resumes his search for Wolfram.  
  
"He didn’t want to marry me! He didn’t want me to kiss him either!" Wolfram protests after Conrad finds him.  
  
And so his older brother tells him, placating him: "He asked why you loved him. I think you should tell him."  
  
\----------  
  
They must have both thought about his words, because that night, Yuuri and Wolfram talk again, in the garden.  
  
"I love you because you are kind," Wolfram explains.  
  
Yuuri just stands there. He wants to believe him but he is not convinced, Conrad can see it. "That’s friendship," he counters.  
  
"I love you because you are pretty and I want you," Wolfram dares further.  
  
Yuuri blushes crimson, but he still retorts: "That‘s lust."  
  
Wolfram is starting to get annoyed. "I love you because you are the king."  
  
Yuuri frowns. "That‘s … just not right."  
  
"I love you because you are powerful, then."  
  
"I don’t even control when I start to use my powers," Yuuri counters. "Besides, what if I lost them? It‘s not reason enough."  
  
"I love you because you act weird and different."  
  
"That’s curiousity."  
  
From the shadows of the tree behind which he listens to the exchange, Conrad sadly smiles to himself. He knows love does not need any reason and he suspects that it is just the thing Yuuri wants -- or rather needs -- to hear. But it really should not come from him. More than anything else, Wolfram has to figure this out by himself.  
  
If he told it to Yuuri now, the king would just turn towards Wolfram and say: "There you are, Wolfram, just as Conrad says…" And then Wolfram would be mad at him, with reason. Maybe Yuuri would not say exactly that, but that is the feeling Conrad gets.  
  
If he whispered it to Wolfram, and his brother trusted him enough to repeat it, it would just cause another, graver misunderstanding in the long term. Love should really not be founded on false beliefs or self-convincing, because one day or another it will break then, and it will be much more terrible.  
  
Yuuri‘s voice can be heard then, and Conrad’s hopes for a mending fall: "See. You don‘t really love me, Wolfram. You only like me… I like you, but I don‘t love you Wolfram."  
  
They break up the day after, and Conrad has to pick up the pieces, as he expected, as he feared.  
  
\----------  
  
When he sees Yuuri hurt, Conrad can’t stay silent. He wants so much to reassure the young man. "Don‘t worry this much, Yuuri. I guarantee you you are loved."  
  
But Yuuri doesn‘t want to believe him. "You mean like my family…" He pouts.  
  
So Conrad has to explain further. "You are loved, and cherished, and not just by your parents and brother."  
  
"Right." Yuuri is still moping and it’s with an ironic and self-deprecating tone he answers. "I have friends. "  
  
Conrad sighs, but it does not seem right to let Yuuri think like this. "You are wanted too," he manages to get out past reluctant lips. "Some people want to belong to you. "  
  
Conrad is sure Yuuri thinks about Wolfram for a second, but that’s not what he answers. "You mean just like Gunther?"  
  
"You are loved in the way people would want to stay by your side to see you happy."  
  
Yuuri has a small smile then; he knows Conrad is talking about himself. Yuuri understand the half-demon is worried about him so he explains: "I’m selfish, Conrad. I’d like to be loved like all of that at the same time."  
  
"You are, Yuuri." And Yuuri looks up but Conrad does not stop to let his king think about his feelings, he does not want to burden him with them. "But the question you should ask yourself is: do you love someone? In that way or any of it?" He looks seriously into Yuuri’s wide attentive black eyes as he goes on. "You can’t love someone just because you know they love and adore you. Love knows no reason."  
  
Yuuri gasps and a smile slowly breaks on his face. Suddenly Conrad finds himself with an armful of Yuuri, as the young man has launched himself forward to hug him. "Is it true?" He asks, his voice joyous and almost carefree again. "That love knows no reason? "  
  
"Exactly," Conrad answers, thinking that maybe he did find the right words. "It’s just there one day, and maybe someday it won’t be as strong anymore, and morph into tenderness and good memories…" Maybe one day Conrad won’t feel so strongly about Yuuri. The young man just buries his head in Conrad’s chest. "Yuuri?"  
  
"I was so afraid…" The young man lets out, relieved.  
  
Suddenly, with a sharp tug at his heart, Conrad understands. He understands and marvels, because Yuuri knows love and will probably be happy, but at the same time he fears, because that means that he will not be able to stay as much by his side anymore. "You love someone."  
  
"Hnn..." Yuuri answers, still not releasing him. "I didn’t know why and it scared me. That‘s why I asked Wolfram why he should love me, because I was not sure what it was. But none of the reasons he gave me could justify the way I feel..."  
  
"What you feel comes from your heart, not your mind, but your spirit, your entire being... You might justify it anyway you want, but it doesn't have reasons. The cause of it doesn't have any reason," Conrad says.  
  
Yuuri trembles now, and he still holds Conrad close. "What's wrong Yuuri? "  
  
Conrad knows he shouldn't be so happy about Yuuri's embrace. Besides the young man doesn't seem too happy ; he's crying, and so Conrad whispers everything and nothing to calm him.  
  
He whispers that Yuuri should feel happy to know love, because even when it isn't returned, it is the most powerful thing in the world. That he shouldn't worry and most certainly his love will be requited, in one way or another. That it won't be the exact same way though, because people are different, and so the way to love and be loved are different.  
  
Yuuri just listens, his head hidden in Conrad‘s shirt. And when Yosak goes by, reminding them it'll be dinner time, Conrad tries to pry Yuuri off him, but Yuuri doesn't want to let go.  
  
He has something to ask instead. "Do you love someone Conrad?"  
  
Conrad looks at Yuuri, who is looking up but still holding him, then in the direction Yosak went. They should head to dinner, he really shouldn't be enjoying being held in such a way when Yuuri doesn’t know how he feels for him. But he still answers. "Yes."  
  
Yuuri’s voice is slightly sad and fearful when he speaks again, and he is not looking at Conrad anymore. "I... There is this person I love Conrad."  
  
Conrad nods, his heart clenching, he'll have to let go forever tonight, and he doesn't want to.  
  
"And at times I love him all the ways you said before, but you're right to say there is more."  
  
Conrad's heart aches. Just the way I love you Yuuri, he thinks.  
  
"But I don't want to let him go."  
  
Conrad hugs Yuuri closer as he echoed what he was thinking about earlier. "Does he not love you?" Conrad asks then, wondering who could not love Yuuri.  
  
 _Not Adalbert, please not Adalbert._  
  
"I think he likes someone else more." Conrad feels Yuuri clutching to him.  
  
"Who could be more loved than you?" Conrad muses aloud.  
  
"Yosak," Yuuri answers dejectedly. And Conrad's head snaps back towards him.  
  
"Do you love His Holiness?"  
  
Yuuri draws back in shock and looks at him. "Murata?"  
  
Conrad is surprised. Did he guess wrong?  
  
"He and Yosak are a couple," he explains.  
  
Yuuri looks at him bewildered. "They are?"  
  
Then hope makes its way into the king's face, and he smiles at Conrad's surprised face.  
  
"Say Conrad," Yuuri hasn't completely let go of him yet. "I love you like you are family." Conrad's heart receives a painful punch. "And you are my best friend too." Conrad has a sad smile.  
  
"But… but… I… I…" Yuuri stammers then, before going on so quickly that his words are near indistinguishable. "Iwantobelongotoyouandalwayshaveyoubymyside." He blushes and turns his head away.  
  
Conrad blinks. His heart soars. Is it true? He almost can’t believe it.  
  
He takes Yuuri's hands and places them on his chest near his heart. "This heart belongs to you, Yuuri, and my whole being too. I love you."  
  
Yuuri smiles then, but the question is still there lingering in his eyes.  
  
Conrad smiles reassuringly. "I love you for no reason at all Yuuri."


End file.
